Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Have you ever heard the Plato quote....."Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." How often do any of us really think about that? No matter how wonderful you think someone's life is....they have a battle....one that you might know nothing about.

Usually I am the type that holds those battles inside...I'm an "internalizer." Maybe that's why blogging is perfect for me....it allows me to put things out into the world and not hold my cards so darn close all the time.

Today I'm scared. I'm also a "the worst case is of course going to happen to me" type person. Frankly, the last words you want to hear out of a radiologist's mouth are "everything seems fine....but..."

It's the "but" that I will hold onto until this pesky little M&M-sized troublemaker is gone. Then there's another wait......the pathology. Are there worse words? Pathology....needle biopsy....it all adds up to a heap of "I'm scared."

But really....scared of what? An unknown, that with 98% certainty will come to pass as just a pesky little M&M that will be gone.

And in case anyone needed reminding of how wonderful my boys are......my little guy, just two years old, sat with me in the ultrasound room today in a little chair.....and when we were all alone he said the words I don't think I will ever forget. He looked at me with his sweet little face and said "It's okay Mama, I'm here." I didn't think I looked scared....maybe I did.

So in an effort to UN-internalize my fear....I'm sharing it....and saying it's okay to be scared.....but I refuse to wallow in it for a week.

I'm going to make more salsa.


  1. Jen - I can't believe your little one said that. That really brought tears out of my eyes. What a sweet guy.

    I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

    Lots of Love - Kim

  2. Wow, Jen, it took courage to write this post! Your little guy is so cute to say that to you. I hope and pray the results really are nothing to worry about!

  3. The power of positive thought is underrated. We are all sending positive thoughts to you - and it seems you're in good hands on your end. Being a fellow-internalizer, fear can sure outgrow it's usefulness.

  4. You have such a wonderful family Jen, and obviously you're a great mom. I'm a "worst-caser" too, so try not to think about it, and focus on positive things. Best wishes and prayers that it's nothing at all to be concerned about!

  5. I do the same thing, I have too great of an imagination and think of the worst possible scenarios. Think happy postive thoughts and distract yourself, hopefully it will be nothing. What sweet boys you have!


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